A recipe for La Bella Vita
La Bella Vita. Italian for "The Good Life".
It means different things to different people. Up until recently, I was not on track to La Bella Vita.
2021 hit me like a sledgehammer, I was not living the life that would get me to where I want to be. I was Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, lugging a burden for no other reason than ... well, there was no reason. Then one day, I shrugged. My life rose as the weight dropped.
That realisation led to an intense 12-week period of keeping my head down, removing things from my life that no longer served me, and staying on the hustle. I delved into books on personal development, engaged in intensive therapy, challenged my own rationale, and found what I have come to realise is my recipe for La Bella Vita. Here is some mind noodling.
Radical Acceptance & Extreme Ownership
For the readers amongst you, you'll recognise these as the titles of two books. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, and Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink (I've mentioned this before). Both are incredible reads and go hand-in-hand in ways the authors may not expect.
Radical Acceptance is the art of recognising everything for what it truly is. To stop fighting reality, wipe your subjective lenses, and view the world clearly from an objective standpoint. Easier said/typed than done, I'm aware. Radical Acceptance will halt the emotional reaction to things, giving us space to understand, empathise, and respond appropriately.
Extreme Ownership is ... brutal, to say the least. Its primary tenet is that you may not be at fault for things happening around and/or to you, but you and you alone are responsible for handling the situation. That's a tough pill to swallow. Radically accepting extreme ownership means you no longer get to play the victim and have to recognise how you've contributed to your problems.
In my life, there have been many situations where I could play the victim. But in the end, victims are powerless and never succeed. No one is coming to save you - you have to do it myself. Embracing both Radical Acceptance and Extreme Ownership was the first step in my 1000 mile journey to becoming the bad-ass I know I can be.
We must Radically Accept that we permit behaviour in ourselves and others that no one should ever accept. We must take Extreme Ownership of allowing our responses to be dictated by situations and recognise the poor emotional reactions we exhibit.
You Make Your Own Energy
To have a great day, one must Radically Accept and take Extreme Ownership of their present situation. Every. Single. Second. Of. Every. Single. Day.
If I want to have a great day, it starts the second I wake in the morning. I can choose to let the events of yesterday or the fear of tomorrow ruin the present, or I can live in the here and now and make today great.
If you're unhappy with a situation, change it. If you can't change it, accept it as it is or remove it from your life. When it comes to people, you can't ever change them, so don't even try. Accept them for who they are as they are, or remove them from your life. Anything else is madness.
Did someone cut you off in traffic? Nothing you can do about it; let it go.
Found out your mate is bitching about you behind your back? Cool, don't need that negativity; move on.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend cheating on you? Ah well, plenty more where she/he came from, NEXT!
Life is too damn short to get caught up on events or people that don't bring you joy. When you Radically Accept that, you can take Extreme Ownership and then Make Your Own Energy.
Trust the process. Do as Atlas did and put the globe down.